The Second book is Stillness Is the Key. Again, as I mentioned in the last video I picked this up after The Obstacle is the Way and read this book many many times. This book in particular was very helpful in times when felt like I was stuck overwhelmed or that I could do nothing right. like last time ,In this book review I will highlight the key learnings, some of my favorite stories / chapters and I will also talk about what I personally took away from the book in main themes I will also give some further readings and why along with A few video recommendations that summarize some of the main points of these books in their own words. But honestly sometimes it’s best to just experience them yourself. I also recommend checking out my first video where I talk a little bit about Ryan holidays background and experience and just what made him come to write some of these books. He also has a newsletter The Daily Stoic and a podcast The Daily Stoic I recommend checking those out as well.
Onto the book review summary!
I like this one sentence summary from Luke Rowley “ Stillness is the Key gives you the tools to harness the power of slowing down your body and mind for less distractions, better self-control, and above all, a happier and more peaceful life.”
I will add this, it also reminds you just how important this concept of stillness and being present is. Again, its similar to how I view the Bible in that each time I read it it reminds me of the key concepts that I often forget for example it includes prioritization of stillness / meditation and prayer in the case of the Bible.
The areas of this book are split into : mind , spirit and body each of these are important concepts in stillness and how you approach it.
My key quote that I get from this book is also a quote I got from my dad growing up which is “ Slow is smooth, smooth is fast” In the context my father gave me this quote was in racing. In racing I believe that the mind, spirit and body must be one while I believe in other sports like golf you can get away with a strong mind and a strong body only. In racing my dad would say “Fast in, slow out. Slow in, Fast out. When you approach a corner the approach to the corner is super important but also even more important is if you carry too much speed into the corner you can take the corner too wide and exit the corner much slower with a late apex than if you take the corner at a moderate speed you can apex at the appropriate time and exit faster.
This is also partnered with the friction circle that my dad also taught me about. in simple terms a tire has 100% to allocate between accelerating, deaccelerating ( braking), turning left and turning right.
This is why the most optimal way to manage this 100% is to only do one activity at a time for maximum effect but when cornering it might look something like this :
100% stopping going into the corner.
20% coasting / trail braking / 80% turning
40 % turning lining up the exit / 60 % acceleration
100% acceleration on exit of corner
In going back to Luke’s key ideas he thought of it in these three ways:
No matter what kind of crisis you might be in, slowing down is always going to help you get through it better.
Allow more silence into your life if you want better peace and clarity of mind.
Work in moderation and embrace your need to sleep if you want to be at your best every day.
Mind
The domain of the mind — there were 13 days in John F. Kennedy’s presidency that would determine the fate of the free world in 1962. Known simply as the Cuban Missile crisis Russia had moved missiles into Cuba that could strike most of the east coast of the US at any given time. The fate of the world in how Kennedy would respond now rest in his hands. His advisors told him that aggression should be met with aggression but we saw how well that worked out with the bay of pig invasion that the CIA pressured Kennedy into. Following this he had read the book “ The Guns of August” which was about the start of WW I where leaders in their over confidence rushed their way into a conflict once started they could not undo it. Kennedy wanted the advisors to slow down to think about the problem before them. As a leader our responsibility is to slow down take in information and be level headed and make the best decision with the information we have at the time. but most important is to slow down!! As Kennedy continued to doodle on his note pad pictures of sailboats and key words . He said clearly “ We are demanding withdrawal of these missiles” which also led to a blockade . More importantly by not escalating the situation it gave his opponent Khrushchev time to think and reconsider his options. 11 days later Khrushchev withdraw after sending a letter to Kennedy saying that we were both tied to a rope with a knot in it and if they kept pulling that knot would be war.
In these times we must :
Be fully present
empty our minds of preconceptions
take our time
sit quietly and reflect
reject distraction
weigh advice against the consul of our convictions
Deliberate without being paralyzed
What did I learn : Similar to my response in the obstacle is the way. Cooler heads will prevail you should be objective and be still before making a decision in your mind.
Spirit
The domain of the soul — I find Tiger Woods a highly interesting figure as a golfer. As sports enthusiast you stare at him and awe as he is able to bring in to perfection unison of mind and body. Unfortunately, Tiger was weak in spirit, a lot of that had to do with his upbringing. One can admire Tiger the golfer but as a husband and a father he really missed the mark. Mirror Mirror on the wall we grow up like our daddy after all. Tiger’s father Earl Woods whom Tiger had a complex relationship with. Earl turned his son Tiger into a cold blooded assassin where he would cheat when he played with him, coughed or said things to get a rise out of him. Tiger called this wild, yeah its wild calling your kid a mother fucker. But Tiger said he needed the training to get better so he never complained. Earl and Tiger shared a code word that when it became too much Tiger could say it and Earl would back off with the physical and metal torture and treat him normally. Oddly if you can believe it the word was “Enough” which became a swear word between them…. The E word. There is much more to this story and you should read it in Ryan’s book. But because of these poor parental examples Tiger always felt empty and turned to sex with just a crazy amount of different people when he had a beautiful and brilliant wife at home and a wonderful family. Shortly following this you know the story a golf club, a broken window and Tiger sprawled on the roadway. The stillest man was no more because of a weak spirit. After this Tiger was never the same again.
Those that seek stillness should focus on
developing a strong moral compass
remove themselves from situations that create envy, jealousy or other harmful desires.
come to terms with painful memories that resulted in wounds from their childhood.
practice gratitude and appreciation for all that is around them.
Cultivate friendships and other family relationships
Place hope/ belief and control in a higher power greater than yourself ( you cannot control your fate)
Understand that there will never be enough and that the unchecked pursuit is falling into the hedonic treadmill that is always thirsty for more.
I want to point out one more story that I really enjoyed it is the chapter on Conquer your Anger. First a quote
“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty ; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that takenth a city “ Provers 16:32.
This means that a person that is in control of their anger and emotions is more rare and valuable than a a solider that can have a storied military results. This is often when we not just look at “What” was accomplished but the “How”
In 2009 Michael Jordan was inducted into the Basketball hall of fame. Regarded as if not the best at least one of the best basketball players of all time :
6× NBA champion (1991–1993, 1996–1998)
6× NBA Finals MVP (1991–1993, 1996–1998)
5× NBA Most Valuable Player (1988, 1991, 1992, 1996, 1998)
14× NBA All-Star (1985–1993, 1996–1998, 2002, 2003)
3× NBA All-Star Game MVP (1988, 1996, 1998)
10× All-NBA First Team (1987–1993, 1996–1998)
All-NBA Second Team (1985)
Jordan led his team to one of the most dominate streaks in sports history for a decade and a half resulting in 6 NBA championships. While many people will compare him to the likes of Steph Curry or Lebron James this was a different time and its difficult to compare.
In Jordan’s hall of fame speech, he originally planned to go up to the podium and simply accept the honor and to say thank you but he simply could not do this. He still had something to say. What happened next was a strange and uncomfortable speech of a man that had nothing left to prove but continued to point out every slight he ever received throughout his career. From getting “cut” when trying out for the varsity squad, Jordan actually invited the guy to his induction. Instead of being happy for a fellow player he took it personally and wanted to prove that while this was a predictable result given that Jordan was a freshman he wanted to show the coach and the player that got his playing time. You made a mistake dude.
People that were close to Jordan understood what he was trying to do in the speech and meant for it to be helpful but instead of sharing a couple key ideas he wanted to show others how anger could be used to fuel a winning mentality. Each time someone slighted him or underestimated him it pushed him to be a better player. The only person that got what MJ was doing was Tiger Woods who said “ I get it, that's what it takes to be as good as MJ you are always find ways to get yourself going” But if you think about other champions like Tom Brady for example, he certainly wins a lot without being mean and angry.
Physical
“If a person puts even one measure of effort into following ritual and the standards of righteousness, he will get back twice as much “ Xunzi
Build a routine— Building a consistent routine in your day is important. For example, Fred Rogers woke up at 5 am to spend an hour in quiet reflection and prayer. Following this he would go to the gym where he would swim his morning laps. As he walked out to the pool he would weigh himself and it was important it always showed 143 lbs and as he jumped into the pool he would sing “Jubilate Deo “ to himself he emerged from the pool refreshed and baptized a new for the day.
3 times a week I wake up at 4:47 and head to my local badminton hall to play badminton. The hall opens at 5:30 where I stretch for 5 mins and begin my warm up routine and then play until 7 am. This routine in some shape or form has been going on for more than 8 years it is almost always the same, the same people and the same motions, I never have to think about preparing for it and my body has adapted to it. This routine helps me to be at peace and to be prepared for the day and week ahead of me. If I miss more than a couple days of this I notice the difference. Consistency is truly a key to promoting stillness.
Another sports story and an unfortunate one for Buffalo Bills fans like me. By being consistent and putting himself in physically and mentally straining situations Patrick Mahomes was able to control his heart rate to provide maximum performance when his team needed him the most . Often when his heart rate would get out of control was when the opposing team had the ball and wasn’t even on the field. see below :
Now look at the heart rate when in the huddle or pre-snap it actually was its lowest level “AKA” Flow State. The meeting point of mind and body can create pure stillness which can result in peak human performance or bouts of enlightenment.
So what are my key take aways from this book focused around Mind, Spirit and Body. Honestly, most of this book was about how to still yourself in the three legs of the stool. Without all of these you will not truly be at peace. What is truly interesting these three items are what come to together philosophically to help one die well which I know sounds strange but think about it. Tomorrow you could receive a terminal diagnosis, a branch from a tree could fall on you, you could die in a car accident. All of us are given the same terminal diagnosis from birth and it takes all of us when our time us up. I actually believe by being at peace with the three disciplines brings you to the present moment in true clarity . My mind is emptied, my heart is full of love, and my body is busy I am at peace.
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